


His Worst Nightmare

by Lia_Jones



Category: Love and Producer (video game), Mister Love Dream Date (Video Game), 恋与制作人 | Liàn Yǔ Zhì Zuò Rén | Mr. Love: Queen's Choice (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Depression, F/M, Halloween, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mental Breakdown, Miscarriage - Mention, Murder, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Jones/pseuds/Lia_Jones
Summary: Victor wasn't afraid of ghosts or witches, but in a blink of an eye, his worst nightmare came true.
Relationships: Bái Qǐ | Gavin/Player Character, Lǐ Zéyán | Victor/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 17





	1. In a Blink of an Eye

**Author's Note:**

> So.... Here it comes, our Halloween Special!  
> Stay tuned, this work will be published in parts throughout the Halloweek, until October 31st.  
> I could write about witches and ghosts and werewolves, but nothing is scarier than the deep bottomless pits in our souls.  
> I hope you like it, and please don't be shy and share your thoughts with me! Lots of love, enjoy!

“Ok, wait for them to leave, they’re almost done signing the marriage certificates.” Mia ordered, full on business mode. “You, you, and you,” she pointed at the photographers, “stay alert at the reception tent, they will be coming out any second. And make sure you get good shots!” She watched them go in a hurry. “This is Victor Lee’s wedding, after all. Everything needs to be perfect.” Mia mumbled to herself.

The newlyweds left the gazebo, photographers surrounding them, the guests throwing rose petals and confetti at the happy couple. Mia couldn’t help her surprise by seeing Victor smile so much. He, who was usually so grim and serious, was now smiling grinning widely, the excitement in his eyes reminding her of kids before opening Christmas presents. That was joy. Happiness. Mia suddenly remembered her wedding and how she felt, the memory making her heart grow bigger for Victor. He deserved this. So did Andrea.

She directed her thoughts back to reality. She had a wedding to document.

“Ok, guys, get ready for the announcement.” She warned her staff, as she watched Andrea’s brother walk to the entrance of the wedding venue.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” He extended his arm towards the couple ceremoniously. “I give you the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Lee!”

There was a round of applause and Victor and Andrea waved, his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her lovingly against him.

“Victor!” Mia called. “A kiss for the picture!”

Victor and Andrea turned to each other with loving eyes and a soft smile, their lips meeting as their arms softly wrapped around each other, eyes closing softly with the tenderness of each other’s touches.

“Ok, guys! I want the perfect shot!” Mia warned her staff.

Yes, there was a shot. The sound of a gun blasted through the blue sky and the tranquil landscape, making birds go on a frenzied flight, and everybody jump with alarm.

The happy couple gave a startled jump back, and Victor, grimacing, his complexion pale as a ghost, looked down to his chest, now red with blood. Someone screamed.

Victor’s eyes turned from pain to a panicked expression as Andrea collapsed into his arms, Victor barely able to catch her in time. A red spot started to grow rapidly on her back, staining her wedding gown.

“No, no, no, no, no, NO! ANDREA!” Victor cried. “Help! I need help!”

There was a commotion, people running in all directions in panic. Mia froze in the middle of the frenzied crowd, watching Victor take his wife in his arms and run inside the tent, laying her down in one of the tables that someone had emptied in a rush. Members of the family followed, circling the couple in panic, trying to assist.

“Andrea, stay with me!” He fumbled, trying to press the wound, but there was blood everywhere, in his shirt, in his arms and face, pooling on the table and falling to the ground. “Stay with me, help is on the way. Andrea! ANDY!” 

Victor held her face, making her face him, pleading for her to keep her eyes open for him. But it was too late. With a heavy sigh, Andrea’s eyes fluttered closed, her bloody hand leaving the wound on her chest and flopping down the table, lifeless.

It was like time stood still. For a second, Victor could do nothing but watch as life left Andrea’s body, the flame extinguished. In that second, it was like everything around him died too. His expression morphed into one of utter despair, like everything he had good in him had simply vanished with Andrea’s last breath.

Mariana and Joshua screamed, running to the now breathless bride, but Victor didn’t even seem to register them. It was like the world had ceased to exist for him, and he couldn’t hear or see anything anymore, not even his painful howls as he held his loved one to his chest. A few minutes ago, they were happy, smiling. It took mere seconds for that happiness to crumble to pieces, leaving Victor a raw, open, painful sore. She was gone. Gone forever. It was inconceivable. It couldn’t be true.

Mia watched in tears as her friend held the love of his life in anguish, painful sobs wracking his body, desperate hands clinging to whatever he had left of her. Never in her life had she seen someone so broken. Andrea had been laughing just a while ago, and now she was merely a shell of skin and bones, covered in blood. Her face was serene and expressionless, the smile gone, the spark gone, her light faded.

And for some time, all the people in the room could do was helplessly watch in tears as Victor’s heart was ripped apart slowly and painfully, holding his biggest treasure in his arms, crying like a child.

* * *

“It’s been almost half an hour.” The captain complained to Gavin. “We need to take the body for autopsy. A crime has occurred, we can’t just leave him there with her.” 

“Any DNA you can find in her is hers or his, and the bullet went through and through, so it’s probably in him.” Gavin’s voice was shaky as he spoke. He knew Andrea, she was his wife’s friend. He could only imagine the CEO’s pain, holding his dead wife in his arms, on their wedding day. He was sure that if it was him and Mia, he would’ve gone insane. “Give him a little more time.”

“We can’t just leave him in there with a dead body!” The captain fretted. “This is a crime scene.”

“The dead body is my friend.” Gavin gave a menacing step towards the captain. “He just lost his wife. Give him ten minutes. If he’s not outside by then, I’ll go get him myself.”

“You’re different since you left STF for whatever job you got now.” The man spat, disgusted. “You used to abide by the rules. Now it’s like they are meaningless to you.” 

“It’s not the rules I have a problem with, it’s the ones who make them. And what I follow or who I follow is none of your business.” Turning his back on the former colleague, Gavin ended the exchange.

Gavin knew Victor wasn’t one to easily give up on his ways, and it would surely prove to be even worse while grieving. And he wanted to avoid a scene at all cost, the whole situation being as painful as it was. He would have to tread lightly.

“Maybe you should go and talk to him, try to make him come outside willingly.” He asked his wife with a heavy heart. “I would ask her mother, but I can’t possibly do that.”

“What can I say?” Mia asked, uneasy. “What can I possibly tell him that will help him? I would be destroyed if it were you.”

Gavin didn’t reply. He had no idea. No one did. Even Victor’s assistant seemed lost, sitting on a corner with his wife, who was crying her eyes out.

That day a life was lost, but more than that, a dream was shattered. Not just for Victor and Andrea, but all the present. They all knew what Andrea had been through, how much both had to overcome in their personal lives to be together, and how they stood together, through it all. The people that didn’t know them personally saw them as a symbol of power, the people close to them saw them as a symbol of hope. And the hope in everyone’s hearts had died with a gunshot.

* * *

“When I saw you walking down the aisle today, you took my breath away.” Victor whispered to the unresponsive Andrea in his arms, kissing her forehead softly. “I was so happy to have you and call you mine. My whole life, I have never been this happy.” Victor’s throat tightened. “I love you. I love you so much.” He leaned his forehead against hers, his nose lovingly touching hers. “What will I do now? What the hell am I going to do now? I can’t move on, you can’t ask me that.” He wiped his tears from her face, blood and salty water mixing on her skin. “I won’t be able to live without you. It’s torture.” The words gave way to sobs, that once again made his body shake in agony. He was lost. He was dead. He wished he was dead.

“Victor…” He heard Mia speak from the entrance of the tent. “Can I come in?”

“I will not let her go.” He warned bitterly. 

He was sitting on the ground, his back painfully supported on one of the tent's pillars, cradling Andrea’s bloody body in his arms. He wrapped his arms protectively around her, hiding her from the world. The world had hurt her enough. He would protect her, even if just in these last moments, since he hadn’t been able to do so in the moment that mattered.

“I know the bullet landed on you, you need to get that checked.” Mia argued softly.

“I’m fine, it didn’t kill me.” He distracted himself again gazing at Andrea’s expressionless face, her lips a soft shade of purple, softly stroking her eyelashes, drinking in as much detail as he could. “I wish it would. I wish it would kill me instead of her.” He offered bitterly.

“Victor…” Mia tried again.

“NO!” His voice roared once more inside the tent, as he looked at her with wide eyes, filled with anger and tears. “I just lost her! I lost everything! Why are you doing this to me? I can’t let her go. The moment I do…” He paused, lowering his head towards his wife, suddenly losing all his strength. “I lose everything. I have nothing left.” His tears fell one after another, landing on Andrea’s now crimson dress. “Please don’t make me.”

“Can I see her?” He heard a familiar voice speak from the entrance, filled with pain and tears.

It was Mariana. Victor felt like a sharp pain in his chest, like somehow the bullet had left his rib and buried itself deeper inside him, making it hard to breathe. He fought for air, as the sobs only grew stronger. This was her child. Andrea was a bright light in many lives, not just his. Her family was also suffering a great deal with her death. He slackened his grip on his loved one, extending her limp body to her mother.

Mariana approached slowly and kneeled in front of them. A trembling hand rested on the bride’s face, moving to her golden curls, now mostly red. 

“I still can’t believe that this happened.” She looked at Victor. “Who would do this?”

“This is all my fault.” Victor replied, feeling weak and ashamed. “It was probably someone who hated me, which is not hard to find in Loveland. They killed her because I loved her.” He started sobbing uncontrollably again. “I’m sorry.” He croaked between sobs. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t say that.” Mariana reached for his arm, offering comfort. “You didn’t do this.”

Victor didn’t want comfort. He wanted Andrea.

“IT IS MY FAULT!” He howled again, losing his temper. “I failed her. I failed to protect her, I should have expected this, I should’ve known better, and I failed. WHY AM I NOT THE ONE PAYING FOR MY MISTAKES? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HER?”

Victor was a sobbing mess, all the pain inside him set free, on display, for the world to see. Mariana cried with him, joined in the pain of losing someone they could not live without. Mia, on the sidelines, shed some tears as well.

“Victor.” Gavin called from the entrance of the tent, letting some nurses and a forensic team in. “I’m sorry, we can't delay this much longer. I held them back as much as I could.”

To Victor, the next moments were all a blur. He fought valiantly to keep her with him, only to lose. In a matter of minutes, she was ripped from his arms and stuck inside a black plastic bag, like she was nobody, like she was just a corpse, like she wasn’t the most precious person to ever set foot on this Earth. The moment she left the warmth of his arms, it was like his heart was ripped from inside him and taken with her. He felt an agonizing emptiness, even colder than her cold body, and he simply lost it. He screamed, he wasn’t sure what, but he screamed until his voice failed. He shoved and punched and kicked every person that would go near him, just for the sake of sharing his misery. He felt the prick of a needle on his shoulder, his body immediately too heavy to move, and the darkness came. He welcomed it, hoping whatever was in that syringe would kill him.


	2. Under the Willow Tree

Victor woke up slowly, his brain still foggy, trying to grasp reality, trying to figure out where he possibly could be, and why. He opened his eyes and saw Mariana by his side, her eyes puffy and red. The question in his mind took forever to be formed on his lips. He already knew the answer to it, but the hope was something that soothed him, at least for a little while.

“Was it a nightmare?” He heard his voice, so very weak, barely inaudible.

Mariana’s eyes filled with tears, and she simply shook her head.

“Why are you here with me?” She was supposed to be with her, not him. He didn’t matter, he was hopeless. Unimportant. Nothing could help him. It made him sick to know that someone cared about him. He was unworthy, he hadn’t been able to protect her.

“She wouldn’t want me to be anywhere else.” Tears fell repeatedly as she spoke, and Victor felt sicker. She was also hurting, she had lost her child, and she was worrying about him. The remnants of Andrea’s love through their family, caring for him. He turned his face from her so she wouldn’t see him cry.

“They found the shooter.” He heard her again. “It was Daniel. He climbed a tree and hid there until she was in his line of sight. He killed himself in a hotel room with the very same rifle, left a note confessing the crime.”

Victor felt a wave of fury course through his body, shaking him to the core. The coward wasn’t even able to take the punishment for his crime like a man, he ended life on his terms after he extinguished the most beautiful flame in this world. After the rage, came the guilt. He should have seen it coming. He should have increased security, he should have thrown that scum in jail when he had the chance, he should’ve done a better job protecting her, he should have…

Despair hit him hard, and he was sobbing again, overwhelmed with self-loathing. The hatred was in his blood, bitter and boiling, coming out through every pore of his skin. Something inside him snapped, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. The world blurred again as his rage took over, and he ripped off his IV, going next to the bandage on his chest. Why didn’t that bullet kill him? Why didn’t it pierce through him, and put an end to his misery? Why did it stay lodged in his rib, evil and taunting, keeping him alive to go through this torture? Arms wrapped around him and he only relaxed when he heard the precious name, Andrea.  _ Andrea wouldn’t want this, Victor. Andrea would hate to see you like this. You need to be strong for Andrea. _

He could feel the blood trickle down his chest and pool on Mariana’s shirt, and the arms around him, and the nurses in the room. Her tears on his shoulders, his tears on hers.

“Please, just let me die.” His plea was merely a whisper. “I don’t want to feel anymore.”

If there was a God, He probably heard him. The needle came again, and Victor knew nothing else.

* * *

_ “It’s beautiful here.” She spoke, leaning on his chest. “So peaceful.” _

_ They were both lying on the grass, watching the lake, as Onyx and Naia got their deserved rest after some time galloping. Victor nudged his nose in her curls, taking in her scent. _

_ “We can come here every weekend if you want to.” He offered. “My aunt loves having you here.” _

_ “I particularly love this willow tree.” She sat up to touch the willow branches, leaving his embrace. _

_ “Come back here, I’m getting cold.” He complained, pulling her to him again. _

_ “You’re always the one telling me to put on clothes.” She teased him. “Why don’t you follow your own advice and put on your jacket?” _

_ “I’m not that cold.” He held her tighter. “But I was warmer with you close to me.” _

_ She nudged his chest, and Victor knew what that meant. It meant  _ I love you _. _

_ “Did I tell you about the olive tree on top of the mountain, in my grandmother’s property?” She asked, eyes staring at the blue sky. _

_ “The one no one harvests from?” Victor recalled that the tree remained untouched during olive picking. “Why is that?” _

_ Andrea rolled on his chest to face him, her chin resting softly on his sternum. He tucked an astray curl behind her ear. _

_ “My great-grandfather used to sit under that tree and watch the whole land from above, making his plans. Sometimes he would take my great-grandmother and just watch the stars with her. When they died, my grandmother buried them there, under their tree.” She rolled back to her initial position, watching the lake. “It must be nice, to belong to a tree like that. Instead of a depressing cemetery, you become one with nature. You’ll always have a beautiful view and children can play and rest under your shade. I think I would like that.” _

_ Victor watched the sky above him, not knowing what to say. He never liked to discuss something as gruesome as death, especially if it involved her. Andrea shifted again, coming close to his cheek, kissing it softly. With a smile, he turned in her direction, his nose touching hers. _

_ “Victor…” _

_ “Yes, my light.” He smiled at her. _

_ “You know I’m dead, right?” She looked at him with worried eyes. _

_ “Andy…” The memory dawned on him and he held her tighter, tears in his eyes. She was right. He would never see her again. _

_ “Will you bury me under the willow tree?” _

* * *

He woke up with a start, only to find his hands restrained. The room was different too. He was probably in some psychiatric ward, he assumed.

“Hummingbird.” He heard his aunt call, from the opposite corner of the room. “How are you feeling?”

Irrelevant. He had no time to waste with idiotic questions.

“Where’s Goldman? We need to make arrangements.” For her funeral. But he couldn’t say the words just yet.

Terry looked at him with sad eyes.

“He won’t be able to be here now. Diane lost her baby.”

* * *

“Mr. Lee, do you understand you were committed to this place under the assumption that you were a danger to yourself and others?”

The books were piled up on the desk randomly. Unorganized, falling askew on one another. Wasn’t she supposed to be a mental health professional? Why would she keep her desk like that? How could she do a good job surrounded by clutter like that?

“Yes. I am no longer a threat to anyone.” He replied, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Do you have someone to be assigned as your supervisor? To be responsible for your actions for the following weeks?” The doctor asked, smiling at him. Why was she smiling? Didn’t she know why he was there in the first place?

Victor shook his head, ready to refuse. Even if someone cared enough to take such a role, he did not deserve the attention. Besides, he did not need the babysitting, as he wasn’t sure what his next move would be. At that moment, his focus was on Andrea. 

“I do not nee-”

“I’ll be his supervisor.” Terry intervened. “He will be staying at my place for the time being.”

“You and your supervisor need to sign the release at the lobby, as well as your consent to follow the Care Treatment Plan.” The doctor got up and extended her hand to Victor. “Feel better.”

Victor didn’t shake it. He got up and left.

A Care Treatment Plan meant medication. A full cabinet worth of it. Victor immediately decided he would take none or all of it at the same time, although he didn’t voice this idea to his aunt. He was given a plastic bag with his personal items. Expeditiously, he put it in his pocket.

He entered the car and fastened his seatbelt, turning immediately to the window. He couldn’t look at his aunt, he knew she would cry at any moment. She would want to talk about it. Victor didn’t want to talk. Or listen. Or feel. Or even exist.

“You look serene.” It was a question disguised as a statement. He didn’t answer.

Giving up on making him talk, his aunt turned the key in the ignition, willing the motor to life. After a while, Victor retrieved from his pocket the plastic bag he was given. He could almost hear her voice again, her warm hand around his.

_ Victor, with this ring I give you my all, promising to love you and cherish you, in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health, now and forever. _

Victor took out his wedding ring, matte platinum with three small blue diamonds to match the one on Andrea’s. With a shaky hand, he put his ring back on. 

“Where’s the other?”

“The other?” Terry looked at him, puzzled.

Victor sighed heavily, not ready to start the unbearable subject. He couldn’t. He simply couldn’t. But he needed to know.

“Hers.” His voice was merely a whisper. Never in his life had it been so hard to utter a single word.

There was a pregnant silence filling the space between them.

“At my place.” He could feel her eyes on him as she replied, worried, observant. She cleared her throat, turning on the radio, probably hoping some music will make the mood less tense. Soon enough, a song he didn’t recognize was on.

_ I had all and then most of you _

_ Some and now none of you _

_ Take me back to the night we met _

_ I don't know what I'm supposed to do _

_ Haunted by the ghost of you _

_ Oh, take me back to the night we met _

_ When the night was full of terrors, and your eye- _

Terry fumbled with the radio, trying to change stations.

_ … the dramatic story of Andrea Jones, now recently named Andrea Lee, who died from a fatal gunshot- _

“Fuck!” Terry turned off the radio. Victor reached for the button to turn it on again.

_ … husband, Victor Lee, the reputable owner and CEO of Loveland Financial Group, was committed yesterday to a psychiatric facility that remains unknown, to recover from the shocking event. Andrea Lee had a brilliant career as a Head Researcher for Loveland University and had recently published a study about fair trade and smart strategies for cooperation between small companies. The institution posted a statement on their website presenting condolences to the family and complimenting Dr. Lee and her work, revealing she was one of the strongest candidates for a GESA award this year.” _

Victor smiled weakly, turning off the radio. She would’ve loved this. She worked so hard, every single day. She truly deserved it.

“That’s nice.” His aunt commented with a strained voice.

“Yes, it is.” Victor turned to his window again, swallowing tears. Silence filled the car again. 

“Do you need to go to your apartment to get something?”

The answer was yes. But he was scared. At that moment, his heart was held by a very fragile thread, a thread that was linked to his wife. He feared that, should he cut it by facing the hideous truth of an existence without her, he would fall apart, like a puppet without a master. All these years, he had wandered alone, with no real purpose. But once he found Andrea, everything changed. All his hopes and dreams were on her, she was the vessel for everything good in his life. Now, he couldn’t just go back. He didn’t know how.

People say one can’t miss what one never had. But Victor did have it, for a wonderful year. And he foolishly took it for granted, only to have a coward take it away for good. Forever was not the forever he hoped for.

He wished he could explain that to someone, that the pain was so heavy in his chest he could barely breathe. Andrea would want that, for him to reach out, to seek consolation. But he didn’t have this many words in him, so he uttered just the one.

“Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come tomorrow! I'll see you then!


	3. Murky waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, beautiful people!
> 
> I didn't forget to mention music, I just didn't have any to recommend for any particular chapter. However, I did pick some songs to inspire me while writing, so here comes my list:
> 
> The Night We Met - Lord Huron  
> Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John  
> Happy Together - Turtles  
> Dancing with Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan  
> Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton  
> Tiny Dancer - Elton John
> 
> Also, I have something scary to say... This story is CANON to the Growing Pains Series. And that's all I can say for now... *insert evil laughter*

Victor entered the house slowly, placing his keys on the end table in the hallway. Walking a little further, he paused in front of the living room’s door, the bedroom wing further down to his right. 

He had read somewhere that houses are like books, for they tell the stories of the people that lived there. Their hopes and dreams, their fights and long deep-felt conversations, all invisibly painted in the house’s walls, a testimony that no one would probably read, but it was still there, silently present. And yes, every single wall of his apartment held the story of the woman that came into his life and filled it with beauty and warmth, chasing away his ghosts, leaving only the good she saw in him.

Victor recalled the last moment he had entered his apartment. She had music playing. He could hear in the back of his mind the first chords of the song, the same one she liked to play on his piano when she was in a good mood.

_ When I think of those east end lights _

_ Muggy nights the curtains drawn _

_ In the little room downstairs _

_ Prima donna Lord you really should have been there _

_ Sittin' like a princess perched in her electric chair _

_ And it's one more beer and I don't hear you anymore _

_ We've all gone crazy lately _

_ My friend's out there rolling 'round the basement floor _

_ (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh...) _

He walked into the bedroom, the music now hopelessly stuck in his head. As he took her rose lace dress from the closet, the one she wore on their first date, the memories of her became more vivid, walking around the room barefoot, wearing only panties and her ridiculously old Donald Duck sweater.

_ “I know, I know, I’m late, but not as late as you think!” She defended herself, running around the room, picking items here and there while Victor watched her, amused. _

_ She paused in front of him on her way to the shower, pulling him down for a kiss. _

_ “A quick shower and I’ll be done, promise.” She smiled, turning to leave. He held her arms, raising a playful eyebrow. _

_ “Where do you think you’re going?” _

_ “Aren’t we late?” She gave him a quizzical look. _

_ “Not if you keep your word and don’t spend eternity in that shower.” She glared at him, making him chuckle. “I just spoke to my aunt. They’re not expecting us for the next three hours.” _

_ “So I have been running around for nothing? You could’ve told me sooner.” She complained. _

_ “Not for nothing.” He kissed her cheek, tracing her skin to the nape of her neck with his breath. “You ran into my arms.” He then proceeded to remove from her arms every single item she was holding, one by one, throwing them carelessly on the bed, making her laugh. “Much better.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, swaying to the music. _

_ “I thought you didn’t like this music.” She teased. _

_ “I don’t” He was busy nudging his face into the sweet cocoon her curls provided. “But the pleasure of dancing isn’t about the music.” He smiled into her ear. “It’s about the dance partner.” _

_ She leaned towards him, retributing tenderness. _

_ “Can you believe we are getting married tomorrow?” _

_ “Mhm.” Victor hummed with his eyes closed, enjoying her pleasant scent, and how she moved her body against his. _

_ “After we’re married, I want to dance with you like this every day.” _

_ She felt so warm, so soft. Victor could spend his entire life like this, holding her in his arms, losing himself in her perfume. _

_ “You have my word.” _

After never came. After was filled with hopelessness and despair. He went to the kitchen to get a ziplock bag, perfectly aware of how present she was in that division as well: the fridge was covered with her magnets, some pressing into place pictures of them together. All of these things were daggers in his already wounded heart.

With a sigh, he returned to the bedroom and took the ugly old sweater, folding in neatly and placing it in the bag, along with her pillowcase.

After retrieving a few more items, he sat on the bed, staring at the wall. Indeed, these walls had Andrea written all over them. It was remarkable how someone so small could fill such a large space like that. Part of him told him he would have to move to another place, living there with all those memories would be the death of him. Simultaneously, another part of him urged him to stay and cling to her presence, drink it all, until yes, he would die inebriated. 

The doorbell rang, probably his aunt coming to pick him up.

“Are you ready?” She asked, her trained eyes on him.

With a nod, he walked to the door, prepared to leave. Until something caught his eye. He took a slow step back.

The water in the aquarium had a somewhat murky color, which didn’t make much sense. Had something fallen into the tank? Then he saw it. Their pet, lying sideways, unmoving. Mr. Lobster was dead.

_ You’re a fool to believe it would be any different. You have the touch of death, causing the demise of those that dare to love you. In the end, it won’t matter. You will still die alone. _

The voice in his head was cruel, taunting. And Victor’s small shred of resolve, the fragile glue that was holding all of his broken pieces together, dissolved instantly. Even the lobster had given up on a world where Andrea didn’t exist.

“He’s dead.” He whispered, feeling his body starting to shake. “How did this happen? HOW IS HE DEAD?!”

“Victor…” His aunt grabbed his arms, trying to calm him down. But he was already at the point of no return.

“NO!” He screamed, shoving her away. “MY WIFE DIED! My pet died! Goldman’s baby died! Everything that is good is dying!” Tears were flowing freely now, Victor felt like he could collapse at any moment. He leaned against the wall for support. “Why can’t I be with the people I love? Why do they leave me every time? Why? Why didn’t I die with her, or instead of her? What was my crime, that I have to be punished like this? What was hers!?” Again, he screamed until his voice failed, summoning all his demons out, hoping some of them would leave him alone. His aunt held him, and this time he let her. He sobbed in her arms until he had no more tears in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit I was a bit worried when I posted the first chapters, but your reactions were amazing! I can't be thankful enough for your love and support, YOU ARE AWESOME, AMAZING LOVING PEOPLE, and its an honor to share this experience with you!   
> See you tomorrow, beautiful ones! Oh, and I wish the Wish Tree is blessing you all! :D


	4. Rémi XO

_ He felt the bed dip beside him. Suppressing a smug smile, he decided to pretend to be asleep. A few seconds after, a soft arm wrapped around his waist. He had been right, she wouldn’t be able to sleep without him. _

_ He quickly and suddenly turned to face her, making her jump slightly with the surprise. _

_ “Finally.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. _

_ “Couldn’t sleep.” She complained, nudging her nose on his chest. “Missed you.” _

_ “What makes you think I’m going to let you sleep?” He moved on top of her. “I have other plans for you.” He started kissing her neck, moving to her ear, to that sweet spot he knew would get her in the mood. The sweet mewl she let out was enough to get him hard. _

_ “Mr. Lee, I can’t.” She pushed him away, even though he could tell she was starting to get aroused as well. “I’m getting married tomorrow.” _

_ “To that idiot? He will have you for the rest of his life.” He teased. “Tonight is for us, and us alone.” He bit her bottom lip softly, making her gasp. “Make love to me.” _

“Victor?” He felt a soft hand on his shoulder, apparently coming from the same source as the sound. “Wake up, Hummingbird. Time to get ready.”

“Ready for what?” He groggily opened one eye, finding his aunt by his bed. His hand instinctively touched the spot beside him on the mattress, finding it cold and empty. “Where’s Andrea?”

Silence. His aunt was looking at him with misty eyes, lip quivering, unable to answer. The memory of the last few days hit him like a stinging slap across the face.

“Victor…” His aunt moved to embrace him. He pushed her away.

“I’m not senile. Just sleepy.” He tightened his grip over his emotions, afraid to fall apart again. “Give me ten minutes.”

He let himself stand still under the hot water, trying to will his senses to acknowledge any kind of comfort. He felt numb, desensitized, a shell of his former self, like most of what made him had died with her. Safe in his solitude, he let his mind drift back to her. Although the pain was very present, part of him still couldn’t believe it. If Daniel hadn't decided to destroy his life, they would be in Bali. Instead, he was getting ready for her funeral.

So much had changed since she came into his life. He was usually so good at putting feelings aside, building layers and layers on them, burying them deep within himself, but now all he wanted to do was cry and let them out, the burden too heavy to carry inside his chest. This was her fault. She made him abandon his logical approach to the world, by showing him life was more than facts and figures, and was actually filled with feelings that taught lessons, and made life beautiful. He desperately needed back those facts and figures, and the walls he had been so skilled at building, but he didn’t know how to work with them anymore, now that he knew there was so much more.

He picked up a black suit, a black shirt, and her favorite tie, the silk black one with very thin stripes that were only noticeable under the light.

_ “I don’t understand that love of yours for black.”  _ He heard her tease. _ "People will think you’re going to a funeral.” _

He dropped the tie to the floor, breathing heavily, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Carefully, he looked around, to find no one in the room except for him. Maybe he had been too hasty to leave the psychiatric ward, as he was clearly going insane. He could almost see her sitting on the bed, one leg tucked under her while the other dangled on the bed, talking to him, that sweet smile always on her lips.

_ “Wear the shirt I gave you. It brings out your eyes.” _

He grimaced in pain. He missed her so much it physically hurt. What would he do without her? How could he live without hearing her voice every day, teasing him, playfully pointing out his quirks, comforting him?

Without a second thought, he opened his suitcase, pulling out a neatly folded teal shirt.

* * *

It was sunny, Victor could remember that. The sun was shining over the lake, making it sparkle in hues of blue and golden. It was a beautiful day. She would have loved it.

The house and the garden were filled with people, most of them Victor didn’t even know, but still came to him to talk about his wife. They told him about how vibrant she was, and talented, and a good friend. She always had a smile for everyone, she was always so strong and positive, she was a force of nature, taken away too soon. Victor never uttered a single word, just allowing people to share with him their experiences with his wife. He knew all that, better than anyone. He wasn’t surprised his aunt’s house was filled with strangers. If anything, he was expecting more of them.

He watched her for the last time, in her casket, before closing the lid. Everybody kept telling him how peaceful she looked, like she was sleeping. Although Victor agreed she did look serene, she didn’t look like she was sleeping at all. She usually slept with her face buried in his chest, her cheek comically pressed against his skin, her legs wrapped around his, like he was all she needed, like he was her safe haven. 

He discreetly put the wedding ring on her finger. There was no other place where that ring should be, and no one else it could belong to. The beauty of that ring would end with the beauty of its owner, hidden below the surface, only a few people knowing it existed. 

Josh and Goldman made a speech. Someone asked him if he wanted to say a few words, he refused. What he had to say about the love of his life exceeded rhetoric, and it all came down to four little words: She was his everything. And that, everybody knew.

He was led inside to sit on a chair, while people served him food he didn't eat and offered advice he didn’t need. When Josh came with a glass of whiskey, he took it gladly.

“I know we haven’t spoken since… You know.” Joshua mumbled. “But I don’t know what to say.”

Victor smiled weakly, although he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because they shared the suffering, and even though he couldn’t ease his own, he could do something for Andrea’s brother.

“I want you to know that, despite-” Joshua’s voice ended in a sob, and he paused to gather himself. “You’re still family. You’re still my brother. That won’t change.”

“Same goes for you.” Victor offered.

“Are you… Going to be on your own? Terry says you’ll be leaving today.” 

“I’ve always been on my own.” Victor painfully stated. “Before her. I just need to remember how that’s done. Focus on work maybe.”

“Man, I’m so happy to hear that.” Joshua sighed with relief. “I thought you were going to go on a drunken stupor, or do something stupid. Andrea would’ve wanted you to move on.”

“I have that bottle of Rémi your father gave me.” Victor offered. “I still need to finish that one.”

* * *

Victor entered the apartment again, this time to find it empty. Like before. It was like his life had come painfully full circle, erasing everything good that he had in between, leaving only the memories.

He took his coat off and grabbed the bottle of brandy he got for his wedding. Pouring himself a glass, he took a pen and paper and started writing some notes for his assistant for next week. He wouldn’t be able to be present at LFG, but he couldn’t abandon it either. Goldman would have to step up sooner than he expected. Victor was sure he would be the right man for the job. After all, and he couldn’t help but smirk, Goldman had learned from the best.

He went to his coat, retrieving from it something he had asked Mia for a while ago: a flash drive. It contained something she had prepared for the reception and he never got the chance to see: a presentation with pictures of him and Andrea, as kids and as adults, and lately, as a couple.

The familiar chords of a guitar sounded in his study, then a drum, then the words Andrea would sing when she thought she was alone in the kitchen.

_ Imagine me and you, I do _

_ I think about you day and night, It’s only right _

_ To think about the girl you love and hold her tight _

_ So happy together _

The picture of him one Christmas, with a toothless grin. A girl with golden curls and a boy with brown hair, wearing ugly reindeer sweaters. Victor as a teen, graduating from high school. Andrea, dressed in black, in a piano recital. Victor cutting the tape at the inauguration of LFG. Andrea wearing her black academic suit, smiling widely with some friends.

_ Me and you and you and me _

_ No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be _

_ The only one for me is you, and you for me _

_ So happy together _

Pictures of them together. Their selfie with Dubai’s sandy beaches in the background. A picture of them talking, oblivious to the fact they were being photographed, at Goldman's wedding. Another selfie, rock climbing. Victor couldn’t help but smile widely at that one. He was so proud of her.

For the first time in days, Victor felt something good. He was grateful for having her. She was the best thing that ever happened in his life, the happiest, the most powerful. 

_ I can't see me lovin' nobody but you _

_ For all my life _

_ When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue _

_ For all my life _

With a serene smile, Victor opened the drawer of his desk, retrieving something from it. He chugged the rest of the brandy in his glass, letting out a content sigh. Getting up from his chair, he left the study with a decided spring on his step.

The moon was big and bright, lighting the space in the living room. From his huge window, he could see the skyline shining underneath the starry sky, embellished with the city lights. It was a beautiful night.

From the study, he could still hear the music, the one she hummed happily, making his heart skip a beat every single time.

_ So happy together (oooooooooh) _

Victor smiled. Finally, he was feeling some relief.

_ So happy together (oooooooooh) _

He pressed the barrel of his revolver on his temple.

_ So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba) _

_ So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba) _

_ So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba) _

There was no sound. Only Victor falling to the ground, a pool of blood surrounding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left... See you tomorrow, beautiful people. :D


	5. Bitter Endings Lead to Sweet Begginings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, last one... This is where are your answers are answered.
> 
> Enjoy!

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mia screamed. 

“What? What’s the matter?” Gavin rushed to her, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was staring ahead in pure dread to the bride and groom in front of her. They looked at her, horrified at the blood-curdling scream.

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” Andrea asked. “Are you alright?”

That’s when Mia noticed everyone was staring at her.

“Erm…” She had to think fast.  _ Think, Mia, think. _ “ Nothing… It’s just…” She hesitated.

“Just say it.” Victor was starting to lose his patience. “What is the problem?”

“Ah, you can’t go to the reception tent just yet!” Thank God, she had come up with an excuse. “I mean, we haven’t taken pictures inside yet!”

“Inside?” Andrea gave her a puzzled look. “We will take pictures after we eat. I’m starving and my feet are starting to hurt.” She motioned to leave, but Mia held her arm.

“No! You can’t go!” She screamed, making the couple’s eyes widen in surprise. “Please, please, this is important.” She paused, trying to think of a better excuse. “The real reason is… I want to have a word with you and give you my wedding present!” Before they could retort, she added. “Please.”

“I think we can give her five minutes.” Victor looked at Andrea, his eyes full of sweetness. 

“Alright. As long as I don’t have to take pictures.” Andrea agreed.

“Wait for me inside, ok? And don’t leave!” Mia’s urgency only made the couple chuckle, blissfully unaware of the danger. “I’m going to get my present, I’ll meet you in the living room.”

Mia didn’t walk, she ran. And she only stopped when she found Gavin again, on his way to the reception tent to have a drink with all the guests.

“Do you trust me?” She held her husband's arms in all seriousness.

“Ok, Mi, you’re starting to freak me out, what’s wrong?” Gavin looked her in the eyes.

“I had a vision.” 

“Mia, that’s impossible. You don’t have an Evol anymore.” Gavin’s eyes became worried.

“Gavin, I know what I saw! I had a vision, a vision so clear that I could feel what they were feeling, like I was inside their minds! I saw into Victor’s memories!” She grew impatient. “Her ex is hidden in the trees outside the tent with a gun, he’s going to kill her! You have to stop him without them noticing. It’s going to ruin their day.”

“You’re one hundred percent sure of this?” Gavin insisted.

“Yes! You have to believe me, Gavin, please!” She pleaded, desperate.

"I believe you." Gavin lock eyes with her. "I will check it out."

“Please be careful. Don’t go by yourself.” She stopped him briefly. "He's dangerous."

Back in the house, Mia presented the couple with her gift: matching aprons, spelling Mr. Pudding and Mrs. Pudding. Victor blinked at her.

“That is what all the fuss was about?” He looked at her, frowning. Andrea took his hand.

“It’s very nice, Mia. Thank you.” Andrea gave her a warm smile, turning to Victor after. “We should go, people are expecting us.”

“No!” Mia held both their hands. She wondered how Gavin was doing. “I want you to know that I’m very happy to see you together.” Tears pooled in her eyes as she remembered her vision, an inconsolable Victor holding Andrea’s dead body. “I wish you the best… And I hope to have some pudding made while wearing those aprons!”

“Wow… Mia!” Andrea took her hand, consoling her. “Thank you! I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it!”

“I do!” Mia exclaimed, taking the chance to keep talking while keeping them in the house. “Victor is my longtime friend, and I feel like we are friends too! I think we should have a double date!”

Mia’s phone vibrated in her purse. It was a text from Gavin.

_ We got him. He’s being taken right now. _

“As long as you don’t do the cooking.” Victor jested, but Mia didn’t react. She was still staring at the phone.

She had done it. It was over. She had changed the future. It could be done.

“I think we can arrange something.” Andrea chimed in. “And I’ll help Mia cook if she wants to, right Mia?” She shook Mia’s shoulder. “Mia? Are you with us?”

“Yes.” Mia snapped out of her trance, turning to them. “Let’s get you in that tent, don't let me keep you waiting.”

As they left the house, they heard the police sirens from the cars leaving the estate. Andrea looked at Victor, a worried look on her face.

“What happened? Why are the police leaving?” Victor wrapped a protective arm around his wife.

“Nothing serious. There was an unauthorized reporter on the premises. Gavin took care of it.” Mia shrugged, trying to look relaxed.

The happy couple moved to the reception tent, where Joshua waited for them.

“Ok team, get ready!” She warned the photographers. “I want the perfect sho-, ahem, I mean, picture!”

“Ladies and gentlemen!” She heard Joshua. “I give you the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Lee!”

Victor and Andrea kissed for the picture. And nothing happened. It was just them, the people that loved them, laughter and happy tears. Just as it should be.

Mia felt a loving hand on her shoulder. It was her husband. He looked like he had fought a bear, his face bruised, cuts and scratches everywhere.

“Oh my, are you okay?” She fussed over him.

“You were right.” Gavin sounded confused, as he was still trying to piece together what had just happened. “He had a suicide letter with him, explaining what he wanted to do and why. You saved her.”

“No, you are the hero in this story. Thank you for believing in me.” She wrapped her arms around him. “And trust me, you did more than save Andrea’s life. You saved Victor’s too.”

“I bet.” Gavin let out a bitter chuckle. “I would be destroyed if it was you.”

“Those were exactly my words.” She smiled, pulling her husband for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooff, this was an emotional rollercoaster for me, I have to tell you!  
> In case you are confused, this particular work is canon... Some themes have been introduced to pave the way to our third part and following... Some will be more evident than others.
> 
> I have to say I was super scared when I posted this, I didn't know what reactions I would have, and I have to say you were awesome! I have no words to express my gratitude for doing this with me, for taking the time to comment, for sharing some of your love, but these for: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
> 
> A very special thank you to my dear friend and sister in arms Heichous_Girl: this wouldn't be the same without you. I have nothing but love and gratitude for you.
> 
> That being said.... HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Huge kiss, lots of love, HAVE FUN!
> 
> PS: I forgot to announce that the first chapters of the third part of the Growing Pains Series, named Growing Together, will be released November 5th. (SO EXCITEEEEED!) xoxoxoxo


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